What I Wish I Knew In My 20’s
Friendships, Marriage, Motherhood, moving across the country and experiencing different milestones with my family have taught me lessons that could fill a book. There are a few seemingly simple (but really, they aren’t simple) things that I sometimes wish someone had talked to me about or had reminded me of when I was in my 20’s. This was on my heart to share, in case anyone reading is themselves in their 20’s or knows someone who is. Share this link and spread a little light and wisdom from a Mama who learned the lessons she wish she had learned in her 20’s a decade later. Why? Because 10 years in a better mindset can make all the difference.
1. Self- Doubt Will Make or Break You
Not many people know this, but when I was in college, I wanted to be a Pharmacist. I knew I did not want to be a doctor, but did want to work in the medical field. I loved the idea of a career that had great earning potential and was flexible enough for me to be able to have the family I had dreamed of when I wanted it. As soon as I started undergrad at the University of Central Florida, I found myself surrounded by other students who were seemingly brighter, more driven, and whom got the best grades by putting in minimal effort. Instead of focusing on myself, I found myself doubting my ability to succeed based on how others were doing. I allowed self-doubt to take over my confidence and ultimately, I ended up changing my major to one that would allow me to pursue a career in healthcare management. While I do not regret that that decision and am so grateful for all the doors that have opened and all the jobs I have been able to hold with that degree, I do sometimes wonder if my life would be different if I had stayed the course and focused more on bettering myself versus measuring my success based on the success of others.
2. College Isn’t The Only Way
Somewhat related to my prior point, and ironically so, I have learned that one does NOT have to go to college to be financially successful, hold a fulfilling job or have a full life. My degrees aren’t stamped on my forehead, not once has an employer asked me for proof of them, nor did I learn most of what I learned from the many, many 40-page papers I was required to write to graduate. I learned what I know and developed my management, operational, training and healthcare skills while on the job. Did having my degrees allow me to hold better positions in some instances? YES! But I have several friends that are just as, if not more successful, that never went to college. They are entrepreneurs doing what they love and making a living at the same time. I want my children to know that they have the option to NOT go to college, to NOT accrue debt before ever entering the workforce but that all we want is for them to be HAPPY and FULFILLED in what they choose to do.
3. Learn to Listen More Than You Speak
It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I used to talk WAY more than I used to listen when I was in my 20’s. I bet the same is true for many, but there is such a beauty in taking your time to soak up as much information as you can before speaking on any situation. It’s hard to not react to emotionally charged situations, but learning to take that pause before reacting or speaking earlier on in life will prove to pay off time and time again.
4. Trust Your Gut
This is a tricky one, because if you’re anything like me, you’ve looked back at a situation or 2 in your 20’s and thought, ‘what was I thinking?!’. You’re cringing at how you reacted, what you said, or how you handled something because in the moment, you felt it was the right thing to do. But hey, that’s OKAY! My ‘mature’ gut now, as I call it (haha!) knows that it is always right, and that it was mostly right back in my 20’s too. Apply that trust in your instinct now in your 20’s when it comes to relationships, job decisions, career and educational choices, friendships, and travel plans. If it doesn’t feel right, then it just ISNT.
5. Investing In Yourself Pays Off
My favorite new way to invest in myself has been to take care of my health. I am exercising more, eating better, being more mindful of how I treat myself and am striving to use my time more wisely in order to get more sleep (this one is still a struggle!). If I had started thinking that way in my 20’s, man oh man would I be light years ahead of where I am. I’m not upset about it, but if I could give any advice to a fellow 20-year-old, it would be to start thinking preventatively about things such as health, finances, who you spend your time with and what you allow to identify you. Invest your energy into activities and endeavors that BUILD YOU UP, not tear you down. Forming that habit early on can make all the difference in the trajectory of your life and who you end up forming a family with.